10:30am: Final Entry....
You know...ever since my step-father found out about my lj account, he said it was the most stupid I could be doing...telling other people what goes on in my life. Thats how problems get started. My aunt and her bf basically told me the same thing. Why..oh why didn't I listen to them. LJ..for me anyway...is nothing more that something used to instigate problems...so I'm out. If you want to know whats going on with me then IM me or call me. I don't think the world needs to know whats going on in my life unless it actually cares. Besides that I don't need to be going on other people's livejournal and finding out things that are just gonna piss me off or hurt me. Anybody see a point to that? I don't. I'm trying to be happy. So far, I've been pretty capable of doing it..but everytime I get on LJ something or someone hurts me or pisses me off. So, this is my last entry. You guys...the ones that mean something to me...you have my sn or my number or both. To rest...Later.

8:49pm: Job...Finally
Hey there. I went to the nursing home both yesterday and today. I'm having fun there. I met this lady named Jane and she's awesome. She's so funny and crazy and hyper. She's really fun to be around. Neny says I'm gonna be like her when I get old. I hope so. I also met this other lady Jean and Helen. Being there kinda changes your perspective on things. HMM..Chicken Kitchen called me today and..I got a job. I start this weekend. I'm pretty happy about that. I'm finally gonna have my own money to spend. Not only that but I'm gonna have money to save up for my car insurance. Tomorrow is my last day going to the nursing home, at least my last day this week. Well, wish me luck on my job. Later.

_Lex_

7:06pm: The stupidity sometimes...

School Lockdown Lifted

8:11pm: Hey there, trying to keep my mind on school and my family and friends. I don't know when I'm going to stop being grounded, but I'm definately looking forward to it. I find myself being more cheerful and happy than i thought I would in a long time. I don't think about him too much. At least i try not to. I haven't cried over him in 2 days and I'm pretty happy about that. Hopefully I could tranfer out of the Ridge and into Sunset next year. Tatiana and Vi are leaving, I think Emily is leaving, and Gabriel is graduating..what am I staying for? W/e..we'll see how things go. Either way, I'm still counting down the days...362.


*Love you Jonny..I'll never stop*
**You're the only one..I'd be with til the end**
**When I come undone..You bring me back again**

9:46am: Just thought everyone should know..I'm okay. Sunday was a good day. I'll be counting down til the day comes...I'll make the call. I'll be there.

12:20pm: Valentines 2005 sucks!
This Valentine's Day is going to suck so much. I'm going to be all alone:( I hate this shit. I'm praying my parents will let me see him on Sunday..they said they would think about it so...Anyway, my stepdad says I'm grounded til my birthday which means 3 and a half months(my birthday is on May 24th). Maybe they will change their minds. A lot can happen in 3 months.I don't like how I'm getting used to being alone. I haven't tried surrounding myself with anyone lately..it surprises me. This weekend I'm going to my grandmother's house which is going to be pretty awkward. Maybe next weekend I could go to Bruno's house and watch them practice. Bleh..there's nothing more to write. Later.



**Anyone will do tonight**

9:44am: Hell has Broken Loose
Grawr* My life sucks so bad right now. The worse part is that everything that is going on, I have done to myself. It took me a while to "step outside the box" and realize what the fuck I was doing to myself and to everyone around me. Unfortunately I realized too late. I've lost someone I really, really, really care about and I've lost my parents' trust. Not to mention that I don't know how to break the ice between myself and my dad's family. I'm so alone and so lost right now...I hate it. I guess this is what my mom means when she says that no one is really your friend. There is no one you could really go to. I need to get out. I need to move on. I need to forget about things and try to start over...blank slate. I need to get over Jonny...I need to stop crying about him everyday. I don't think happiness is hard to grasp..I'll make sure my life is simple from now on. I don't want to complicate things for myself and for other people anymore. I want to go out and have fun and be happy without breaking rules, without getting grounded, without breaking someone's heart. That is exactly what I'm going to do. Wish me luck.


**I will love you forever, Jonny**
**I hope you can forgive me**

9:24am: More Quiz
HAHAHA! I saw this one coming.

You scored as Sloth. </td> Sloth 88% Wrath 69% Pride 44% Lust 31% Greed 19% Envy 0% Gluttony 0% Seven deadly sins created with QuizFarm.com

9:18am: Quiz Results!
Hey guys, I'm really bored in school as usual so..I decided to take some quizzes. Take them and comment on your results. Enjoy!

You scored as Alcohol. Woooooooooo man. Party on! But you better chill out after you get outta college, cuz you don't want to be an asshole alcoholic; an embarassment to the family. Never drink and drive, and think about the damage alcohol does to your liver. </td> Alcohol 63% None! 50% Inhalents 38% Cocaine 38% Marijuana 31% Mushrooms 31% Ecstacy 25% What's your ideal drug? created with QuizFarm.com

6:31pm:

You scored as Loner. </td> Loner 100% Goth 88% Punk/Rebel 69% Stoner 44% Prep/Jock/Cheerleader 25% Ghetto gangsta 19% Drama nerd 19% Geek 6% What's Your High School Stereotype? created with QuizFarm.com

9:25am: School sucks
Grawr, I hate my school. I'm not sure which is worse..Gables or my school..bleh. I'm in class right now and I want to go home. I want to switch out and go to Sunset or something. I've met a few cool people here, but most people are rude. Hopefully I can get a car senior year so it'll be easier to persuade my parents to switch me out. Jonny and I doing real good. We rarely see each other and I miss him a lot, but we're coping. It doesn't help that I'm grounded right now. Either way, my friends, Violet, Emily, Tatiana, Gabriel and David are making everything much easier. If it wasn't for them I would have gone crazy by now. I'll be updating more often. Later kids.

1:28pm: More Quiz Results

You're Bettie Page!


What Classic Pin-Up Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla


Wow, that was unexpected.

10:13pm: OtakuCon
Yo everyone...today I went to OtakuCon in Miami Beach. I had fun, I guess. I spent time with Jonny and a few of his friends. I got to see some of the cosplay that was going on and the gaming too. I bought some Kenshin manga and I THOUGHT I had bought Naruto for Jonny. Apparently the clerk gave me the wrong manga *GRAWR*. She gave me Dragonball...BLEH. Anyway, I had a good time..Jonny was offered a job by OtakuCon/KuniCon. Hemight take it..which will mean he won't be around alot :( But w/e..its what he likes to do. I gotta go walk my dog. Later.

9:44pm: It's Been A While...
Hey there, people who are still keeping tabs on my LJ. I haven't been on for a long time, but here I am. I'm leaving my house and my school so I had to say goodbye to all my peeps at Gables. Unfortunately, I had to say goodbye to my love...Ralph*TEAR*. I'm gonna miss you soo much. I'm gonna call you ALL the time. It's gonna suck not having you around anymore:( I took pics of some people and i'll be posting them as soon as I can. I'll be around..updating and checking for comments so...Later.


Love to all the following: (forgive me if I left you out)
Ralph
Mike
Erica
Natasha
Nubia
Ulysses
Roxy
Danny
Carol
Cassi
and my sexy Poofy

4:02am: Hi There
HELLO THERE!!!! I just came home from a party about an hour ago and I'm doing very well. School starts tomorrow and I'm as ready as I'll ever be. I'm hoping to see my little Nazi, Thomas, tomorrow. Omar and Chris are gonna be gone out of the school.*TEAR* I guarantee that Monday is gonna be a shitty day. I wish Mike Bush was with me right now. It's strange because I don't know him that well, but he seems to be the right person to have in mind right now. *Sigh* I miss Jonny. I haven't seen him all day. I wish I could call him and hear his voice before going to bed...but it's too late:( Well, just 5 months left til I get my new computer. GRAWR. Well, gtg. By the way...if anyone knows of any house parties going on at ANY time whatsoever...PLEASE comment me or call me at 305-442-8658. Thank you. Night kids.

9:44pm: the Epiphany
Bleh...this sucks. I have someone at my side, someone I truly care about, someone who makes me happy whenever he's around...and yet I'm always so fucking miserable. WTF IS WRONG WITH ME?!?! The only time I'm happy is when I'm drunk. I hate this shit. I want to be numb all the time. I have to go..lates.

11:42pm: I Am A..




Take the What High School
Stereotype Are You? quiz.

6:49pm: Boogity
Hello there, today sucked just as much as the previous days. The highlight of my day was being with Carol. I love you sooo much! Carol is such an awesome girl and whoever doesn't see that *fuck u Kamaran* is completely blind. Anywho, people in Gables suck. *Grawr*, I hate trying to talk to people when they shun me. I've been trying to talk to Laura and she just looks at me and waves. I tried to say hi to er in lunch today and she literally said hi to EVERYONE around me and not to me...WTF!! That hurts. Martha claims to not be mad at me and yet she still won't talk to me in class. I don't get it, she'll be completely fine online, but then in person she acts as if I did something wrong to her. My strength is wearing thin and I can feel it. I feel alone all the time. I feel as if I have no one and it sucks. I've been swallowing my pride too long. I've been begging for attention and friendship from someone..ANYONE too long. All the people that I care about don't seem to care whether I'm breathing or not. The only person who is still standing by my side is the one person who I should be staying away from. I don't want to cling to him anymore. I hate feeling like I need him because it makes me weak. I wish people didn't see me the way they did. I wish someone would give me a chance. I wish people didn't betray me. I wish I could start all over. I wish I wasn't so hated. I wish I didn't feel so...

5:35pm: Hey There
Today was completely uneventful. I went to school and did the usual. Only difference is that i got to see Tito..YAY! I hadn't seen him for quite a while. Um, I love Martha and I love Riley!!!!!Muahz, you guys are awesome.

8:12pm: Confuzed
I'm confused. I help someone out, or at least I attempt to and then they just don't speak to me the next day. How does that work? See, times like these is when I completely agree with Riley, people are shit. You try to talk to someone, you try to be friendly, you try to give advice and all they can do is piss in your face. I'm sick of trying to be nice and then have people walk all over me as if I did something wrong. *Grr*...I need new friends. Nearly everyone is Gables sucks so much ass. I don't understand why it is so hard to find friends there. Everyone is a fucking hypocrite and everyone hates everyone, no matter what kind of mask they put on. People tell me I'm anti-social and that I'm a bitch, when I try to talk to people and not be a bitch, people totally blow me off..wtf!!! I also hate how everyone backstabs everyone else. I don't understand why being happy is such a difficult concept to grasp. Happiness should be easy to obtain. It shouldn't be something people seek and search for, but never find. This world needs more people like Sean Nicolle.